NEW MOM NEW TOWN
Amanda is a new mom finding her place in a new town.
In 2017 her little, but growing, family moved to Northumberland County, just at the time she found out she and her partner were expecting. Through her blog, New Mom New Town, she shares her story of surviving motherhood miles away from the support of close friends and family, along with all of the awkward ‘baby-steps’ she takes towards thriving in a new community.
If you would like to hear more from Amanda, check out her blog at newmominanewtown.weebly.com
Dealing with #MommyShame
Here is a picture of the girls baking cookies together that I almost didn’t post on my social media page. We were having so much fun and Miley was so excited that even Olivia was wearing a homemade chef’s hat. Taking the picture I was thinking to myself “This makes me so happy I can’t wait to show this to my friends and family, they will love it!”
As I was about to post online later that night I felt flooded with #MommyShame. Sabotaging my own great moment with the terrible things other people might say or think about it.
Your baby shouldn’t be in a Bumbo. Miley shouldn’t be sitting on the counter. You are too far away, what if they fall? Why are you taking pictures of Miley, she is Chris’ daughter? Cookies are full of sugar why not make a healthy snack?
Why?!?! Why do we all do this to ourselves?? And why do we do it to other moms???
I always catch myself second guessing my decisions because I am worried about being judged by the other people. This happens anytime I leave the house but even more so on social media. I often need to remind myself that it’s okay to post, I just moved away from a lot of my friends and family and this is the best way to share my life with all of them.
Being a mom is hard! I also think its safe to say, no one other than your partner loves that baby as much as you.
We second guess ourselves in every decision we make with our kids. We research the heck out of everything new we want to try with them. It took me over a week of thinking about the Bumbo and researching the risks before I popped Olivia in and realized it was AMAZING. Don’t even get me starting on introducing solids!
Why can’t we just be confident in our decisions and not worry about what others might think?
There is one friend of mine who has become sort of a Momma Idol to me. (You know who you are) She relocated as well and is always posting the best pictures of her son, sharing her crazy ups and downs on motherhood. She has always been an open book which I love about her.
There have been a few times that people comment on her pictures (I’m sure out of love) and question her decisions or point out a risk. Each time I criiiinge!! Each time she stands loud and proud and basically says “This is my kid, this is me, this is what we are doing, take it or leave it sista!”
See? Mommy Idol!
In that spirit I have decided to let go! I know that I have considered all of the risks, I know that I could make a healthier snack and I know that my family has some grey areas.
Most importantly, I know that there is more than one right way to do pretty much everything in this world. Whatever way I choose to do something is the right way for me and my family.
“But how do deal with the judgment out there?”
Think about this…
Have you ever watched another mom do something differently than you and get that ping of insecurity in the back of your mind? All of the sudden you find yourself pulling up the arguments for why your way is better so that you don’t feel like you made the wrong choice.
There is something in all of us that makes us attack “different” because it might threaten the confidence in our own decisions. We feel a need to be right before we consider that there is more than one right.
So really… If you feel like anyone is judging you or you find yourself judging just remember! We are all moms, being a mom is hard and we are always going to worry if we are doing it right!
Yea, I don’t especially enjoy the idea of someone thinking I’m doing it wrong. But who cares! Enjoy your happy moments! Share them with all of your loved ones! Don’t get caught up in someone else’s thoughts! Rather, give them love because they are going through (or have gone through) the same struggles you are.